i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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