my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
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