for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
