Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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