"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
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