Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
