ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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