And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
