Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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