So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Randomize
