yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
