I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
