Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
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