I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
