Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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