Pappa wants mamma naked
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
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