It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
