Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
