i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
what day is it and did you see me today?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize