I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
