Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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