Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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