I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
