it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
