So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
