pop tarts are not kleenex
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
