On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
