..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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