maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
