that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
