And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
