But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
