she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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