I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
