you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
you had me at cake vodka
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
