idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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