Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
