new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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