Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
