These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize