he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
