were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
