Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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