How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
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