you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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