so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
