I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
True but thats because hes a fetus.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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