ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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