So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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