plz talk dirty to me
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
