sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
