I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
