His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
