I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
