Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
