WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
