just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
