he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
