HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
the night ended with taco bell and tears
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
