I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
