Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize