YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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