Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize