he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize