Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
